Today is what the cynics amongst us would simply term a “greeting-card holiday.” While I certainly can appreciate cynicism and being dismissive about such days, I’m also the last to be a boor about receiving such honors. Being part of that group of humans that we commemorate today precludes my poking holes in Hallmark’s venerated tradition.
Fatherhood… many have done it throughout history, to state the obvious, because without fathers, lawns would be 9 feet tall, cars would go unwaxed, and the huge industries of team sports would likely founder. Yes, ladies, before you get the flamethrower out, think about it: lawn care and furniture moving are best left to the men while the intelligent household management is done by you, right?
OK guys, I think we’re safe for a few minutes.
I have to say I myself was blessed to have a great father. My Dad was all about model airplanes and baseball and hockey games and heading to the beach as often as the schedule would allow. Of course, as most of us Dads know, there were times he had to be the bearer of discipline. My sister was smarter; she knew when to knock it off and toe the mark. I, being the family empiricist and self-appointed black sheep, had to test & find the limits of shout, spank, and belt. I didn’t have to test this often, but of course I did.
My Dad usually approached life, especially with we little heathens, with a smile and a laugh. No mean feat, even in the “fabulous” 1960s. He’s also one of the most patient and strong people I’ve ever known. The only time I’ve ever heard him cry was the night my Mom passed away.
After that, my Dad was suddenly a single Dad with 2 kids in the house. He still carried all of this stuff gladly, with a joke and a laugh. We all learned to pitch in, and he taught us all sorts of things, but I think his biggest lesson (which, Dad, I know you’re still trying to teach) is
“Be positive. Figure out how to achieve your dreams: don’t start by saying ‘it can’t be done,’ start by saying ‘how can it be done.’”
There are more, of course, but that is the big theme. How much more successful would we all be if we took that to heart?
It’s been a long time for it to sink into my head.
I, too, am a Dad. I am one of the many of us who unfortunately do not have the blessing of the kids living in my home. They live with their mother, and I only get to see them a few, fleeting moments a year. For all you guys in this situation, you’re not alone.. but I know you feel that way today. It may have gone that way and for the best. It is unfortunate, and I can say I am sad that the kids always bear the brunt of the hurt. No, kids, it wasn’t your fault! I hope you can hear that one day.
If you were a Dad who turned your back on your kids, turn back, seek those kids out: they want to know where you are. Whether you can work with the ex or not, at least check the kids out. While some support orders seem Machiavellian, don’t be a deadbeat: you’re punishing the kids, not the ex.
I drive my new wife crazy with the constant hunt for ways to see the kids… but she knew I would want to see them any waking moment I could going in! So you guys with your kids right there… enjoy it and know there’s more than a few of us who envy that.
Oh, and to all the guys who stepped up the plate as step-dads… the Dads who didn’t have to be… here’s a glass raised to you guys, too. Just remember, when you’re in that slot, you’re there for the Dad that couldn’t be. But as long as you treat those kids right, that’s an honorable position.
So, guys, wax that car and grab the remote, or get out to the game or a movie, and enjoy your day. The dishes will still be there tomorrow. 
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